Over the years, I have had students ask me if we would offer a Yoga Teacher Training at Source Yoga, and my answer was always no, not right now. And it was a clear no. It was actually more of a no way. I was 100% clear that was not my path.
There were several reasons for my hesitancy. One, the earlier years of Source Yoga and motherhood – running a fledgling business, teaching yoga, while at the same time nurturing my small children at home – often left me feeling depleted, like there was not much more for me to give.
There have been many instances over the years that I felt barely able to nurture my own yoga practice, much less be the steady presence to nurture new teachers. I did my best, during that time, to remind myself “this is what my practice looks like right now.” Dirty diapers and sleepless nights, doing my best to be present during the ups and downs, trying to balance motherhood and career.
Over the last couple of years, as my children grew and gained some independence, I began to make myself my priority once again. I put any extra time and energy I had into my own yoga and meditation. I made it a priority to go on silent meditation retreats at least twice a year, I dedicated time to deepen my commitment to my personal practice.
Finally, I feel as if I am starting to emerge from the crazy years of balancing babies and navigating the ups and downs of being a business owner. My children are now both in school, Source Yoga is stable and steady, with phenomenal staff doing so much daily that keeps the studios running. I feel a freedom that I previously did not.
There was another reason I was hesitant to create a teacher training. It was that pesky thing called self-doubt. “Who am I to train teachers?” I silently asked myself when the question would arise. “Don’t they know I’m still learning? I don’t feel like I have mastered anything.”
But something has happened over the last couple of years. I began to trust myself in a new way, as a teacher and as a leader. Perhaps it was stepping into being sole owner of Source Yoga. Perhaps it was beginning to trust my gut and teach the way I really wanted to. Perhaps it was entering my 40’s. Maybe it was asking regularly what I am here for, and listening deeply.
I have heard loud and clear from that inner voice that I am here to teach. I am here to provide a space of light for those that I can reach. Source Yoga is here to be a refuge. There is no way I can NOT do what I am here doing. It is my calling, and it is bigger than me as an individual person, with my small doubts. It pulls me forward each and every day.
That pull forward reminds me of the feeling I had when I took my first yoga class many years ago. That first class, I knew in some way that I had come home, and that this would be a lifelong practice for me. It was a few years after that first class that I ever thought about being a yoga teacher, but once the idea arose, it was clear that was my path. There was an internal pull – a sense that yes, this is the clear next step in my life and in my practice.
So when friend and fellow long time teacher, Rebecca Ray asked me if I was interested in co-leading a yoga teacher training with her, I surprised myself by not saying no. I left the conversation, saying that I would think about it, and noticed a fluttering inside me. It was a feeling of curiosity, of excitement. It felt like there was something pulling me forward, that 24 hours previous, I didn’t even know existed, or even that I wanted it.
I recognized this feeling. It was the feeling I had about starting Source Yoga. It was the feeling I had when my husband and I talked about having a child. It was the feeling I had when I decided to teach yoga. It was a feeling of readiness – an intuitive, raw, knowing that this was the right next step for the growth of myself as a teacher, and as a human/spiritual being. It was that inward pull toward what I am meant to do and who I am meant to be.
As Rebecca and I began to create the training, I got more and more excited. Rebecca is a teacher of incredible integrity, solid training, and deep understanding of asana. Our skills complement each other, and we are aligned in our personal philosophies about yoga. We have complementary strengths and training. I am thrilled to have her teaching the bulk of the asana and alignment, as she is so skilled, and so passionate about it. I am excited to be teaching my passion in this training – mindfulness, meditation, and Buddhism.
We have two phenomenal teachers joining our staff to round out our training. Many of you know Source Yoga teacher Christine Hills. Christine will be sharing her knowledge and wisdom about yoga philosophy and history. We also welcome guest teacher Suzanne Hite, a well-trained yogi, with strength and passion for teaching anatomy. These two strong teachers are sure to bring energy and integrity to the training in their areas of expertise.
As we have put in the hours of work to create the curriculum of the program, things have flowed seamlessly. I am so confident in the integrity and the quality of the program we have created, and excited to work with the yogis who are joining us. I am grateful that I listened to the pull – to the inner knowing that yes, this is the next thing.
Do you feel that pull? You don’t have to want to teach yoga (though you might surprise yourself by the end). We have some in this program who are excited to deepen their own practice of yoga and mindfulness, with no intention to teach. We hope you join us to take an amazing journey over the next year!
With Metta (lovingknindness),
PS: don’t feel like you need to be at a certain level of practice to join the training – no need to have mastered handstands or the splits! Come as you are, with a dedicated commitment to practice.